call it a day.
it's a day like this that you wake up in the morning, go to the gym, swim, do what you think you have to do, and then you feel senseless. you have your lunch with your family, then you grab 'the famished road' on your table and you think maybe you should continue reading where you left off. but you realize you don't really grasp what the story is about. you put it back where it was.
then you switch on your macbook and start surfing. you wonder why facebook seems not as interesting as it was before. you check your blog, hoping passers-by to drop a comment or two, and you get disappointed. never mind. out-of-nowhere you think why not get the specs and holga that you've always wanted since you've nothing better to do. and then you realize it's already 5. so you stay.
you had your dinner with your family, again. it is a wonderful dinner, it is. you watch tv for a while and you switch it off. you are back at your room, and you watch season 3 of supernatural.
after a few episodes you feel exhausted from the fear. you checked on your blog again, and get disappointed again. and then you feel like redesigning the layout of your blog, naively thinking that's the main problem of your blog. but your motivation ceases.
and you start wondering. maybe uni is more interesting than holidays. uni is colorful, holidays are dull. you have not many friends here. then your thought reroutes. you think you should put on more weight, 5-6 seems more ideal. and then you promise yourself to sleep earlier, drink more water. so that less acnes will break out the following day.
and slowly, you consume the darkness and it consumes you. you begin to see things, and those things can see you. and that's when you start dreaming, not knowing that your saliva is quietly escaping from your mouth.
(
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
17:12)